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Post by Raiku on May 19, 2008 14:28:14 GMT -8
Thought I'd try my hand at this. Wrote it today:
GET UP
Another lash. Nothing too extreme, something we all get used to.
It's just another day, bound to happen. Something HAS to hurt. Otherwise, when are we going to get up?
What is it these people are after...Some kind of Earthly pleasure? Does it matter? At the end of the day, what does it buy them?
When life seems endless, immorality has no cost...Watch them fall. Tried to keep them, but their horns are slippery.
They make it sound like it's not so bad...They'll see.
I've been there. Seen how black black can be. Stared into the empty sockets and begged for some kind of light. But none came.
Then, it came. The light. I found it. She kept it in her book, kept it safe inside, so the nightmares couldn't get it. Showed me how to use it, how to fight back.
Don't go down. Get up. The light, it's worth
Everything.
Get up. You're stronger than this. Stronger than them.
GET UP.
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Post by silentstranger on May 19, 2008 14:51:48 GMT -8
I like it.
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Post by Dark Beauty on May 19, 2008 17:32:02 GMT -8
Ditto. It is good. It sounds like it's a poem, yes? I love the words; don't change those. My only suggestion is making it look more like a poem - format it a bit more. But, as already mentioned, I love the words.
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Post by Raiku on May 19, 2008 18:04:54 GMT -8
*shrug*
It's much like my typical thought process. It's scattered and somewhat random, yet one way or another, it makes sense. I'll keep making 'em, and I'll work on the format-ting. Thanks all!
((HA!! So used to using gmail chat, which bolds it everytime there are two asterisks.))
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Post by silentstranger on May 19, 2008 18:38:55 GMT -8
Your shrug never ends. How uncomfotable.....*laughs
And it never ends!
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Post by Zeffa! on May 20, 2008 9:44:00 GMT -8
It's very scattered and dark, yet inspiring. I like the part at the beginning where you say "At the end of the day," therein making it seem even more petty than at the end of their lives or so.
Kept it in her book, so is that a bible reference? Or maybe a diary? There's alot of frustration in this piece.
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Post by silentstranger on May 20, 2008 16:49:58 GMT -8
I know what it means.
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